As Terri Schiavo enters her final hours

I have endeavored so far to avoid serious topics here at Doodles, but I feel the need to make my rant about the Terri Schiavo case.

This circus is very troubling to me. And it is more troubling that there are others that do not see it. First, let me just state that in my opinion none of this would be going on if the situation here was reversed. If all the circumstances were exactly the same except that it was a healthy Terri Schiavo petitioning to have her husband Michael’s feeding tube removed, none of us would even know about the story. It would be no story.

Why? Because we would never question that a woman was not trying her best to look out for her stricken husband. We would never doubt for a minute that it is what the husband would want. Even in the absence of a living will. If she said “He told me he would not want to live like this.” That would be enough for us.

We would not hold it against her if she allowed her husband to be kept alive for an extra seven years to help win a malpractice suit that would help solidify her future and gain some justice for him.

We would not take her to task for finding companionship in the arms of another man while her husband still lingered. Or that she started a family with him. We would recognize that she was young, with her whole life ahead of her and know that even her husband would want her to try to find happiness in her life.

No, if the situation was reversed the story would not be told. Except as a Lifetime channel movie of the week, starring Meredith Baxter Burney, celebrating this woman’s strength at overcoming adversity and the horrible, emotional tests she faced. Even if some of the speculations that exist with Michael were there, like maybe she did something to put him in this state, we would not believe it. We would sweep it away as speculation and rumor and not interfere with her right to pursue her husband’s wishes. Or we would enhance it with speculation that he was abusive to her so she fought back and he ended up like this. Now she is even more of a saint for caring for him.

I have no living will, but have made my wishes known to my family. I will make them clear here as well. If I ever end up in a state like Terri Schiavo, mentally unable to interact with my family, no hope of recovery, and needing a machine to carry out basic functions like eating, I want to be allowed to die. Period. If I am in a coma and the doctors say I will never come out of it, I want to die. If they say I might come out of it, I want to live until such a time as they decide that such likelihood is gone and THEN I want to die.

If ignoring my wishes and keeping me around will help my family receive a large sum of money that will help secure their needs, my kid’s education etc…then by all means keep me around. It is the last thing I can do to provide for my family before I go. When it is all settled, I want to die.

I want my wife to be happy. I want my son to have another father figure in his life that can teach and advise him on the things when I will not be there for him. Even if I am still alive, and we are still married, my wife is free to seek comfort or companionship whenever she is ready. I would not want to be a vegetable-ized parachute always creating drag when she tries to move forward as the living should do.

These are my wishes. These wishes probably match those of the majority of people in this country. I believe that Terri is at least as good a person as I am, probably better. I believe that she would have wanted these same things for her husband as I want for my wife. Shame on anyone that does not think Terri would be noble enough, selfless enough or caring enough for that. And if you think she was, then step back and let her finally be at peace.